Either this will ring bells for you, or it won't. A printed banner has appeared on the concourse of a petrol station near to where I live. "Come inside," it says, "for CD's, VIDEO's, DVD's, and BOOK's."
If this satanic sprinkling of redundant apostrophes causes no little gasp of horror or quickening of the pulse, you should probably put down this book at once. By all means congratulate yourself that you are not a pedant or even a stickler; that you are happily equipped to live in a world of plummeting punctuation standards; but just don't bother to go any further. For any true stickler, you see, the sight of the plural word "Book's" with an apostrophe in it will trigger a ghastly private emotional process similar to the stages of bereavement, though greatly accelerated. First there is shock. Within seconds, shock gives way to disbelief, disbelief to pain, and pain to anger. Finally (and this is where the analogy breaks down), anger gives way to a righteous urge to perpetrate an act of criminal damage with the aid of a permanent marker.
I couldn't stop laughing. This is me. I have what Lynne Truss designates as the Seventh Sense. If you're reading this blog, you probably do, too.
Anyway, the book continues with this type of sarcastic and sometimes dull humor, as it explains the history surrounding various forms of punctuation and how to use punctuation properly today (the British way).
I think my favorite part, though, was the introduction to the chapter on dashes:
In 1885, Anton Chekhov wrote a Christmas short story called "The Exclamation Mark." In this light parody of A Christmas Carol, a collegiate secretary named Perekladin has a sleepless night on Christmas Eve after someone at a party offends him--by casting aspersions on his ability to punctuate in an educated way. I know this doesn't sound too promising, but stick with it; it's Chekhov, and the general rule is that you can't go wrong with Chekhov. At this party, the rattled Perekladin insists that, despite his lack of a university education, forty years' practice has taught him how to use punctuation, thank you very much. But that night, after he goes to bed, he is troubled; and then he is haunted. Scrooge-like, he is visited on this momentous Christmas Eve by a succession of spectres, which teach him a lesson he will never forget.
And what are these spectres? They are all punctuation marks . . .
I have got to find that story! Anyway, overall Eats, Shoots and Leaves is a pretty humorous book, if you're in the right mood, and somewhat educational. But if you're going to read it, find the illustrated version. It makes a big difference. Trust me!
